The question

 Anuj mentally banged his head to the wall on seeing Anu on her knees. He barely got a chance to assimilate the good news and now the disaster awaited. Ideally, he would have resented Anu for stealing his thunder, but he was genuinely concerned for her this time. Worst was that Priya was as clueless as him as to what was happening. They were too late to stop it, both of them held their hands tightly dreading the conversation which was about to happen.

Anu picked up Priyansh's wallet from the floor and handed it over to him. Priyansh took it and thanked her. The grip of Anuj's and Priya's hand loosened in relief. Just when they thought that the disaster was over, Anu handed over the bouquet to Priyansh and said: "Thank you for organizing this and sorry I couldn't be there for the ….ceremony". Her voice almost dropped low with the last word. Priyansh like a jolly fellow took the bouquet and said: "It was a pleasure helping you ladies with this, and you don't need to be sorry. I have known you for years, if something hadn't been important you wouldn't have missed my engagement" and slightly patted her shoulder. "This my friend is too much, almost looks like a cover-up", he laughed looking at the bouquet. Anuj and Priya laughed awkwardly and after seconds of confusion, eventually congratulated Priyansh. "Thanks guys, but it is your day today, please don't share the limelight with me", he smiled humbly.  

Priyansh had to leave early. Other three spent time ambling their food on the plate silently. This must have been the quietest time they had ever spent together. While Anu's eyes were filled with sorrow, Priya's eyes were filled with anger as well as concern and Anuj's eyes, they were full of questions. But all of them knew that it wasn't the right place to talk about anything.

Priya stepped out to settle the bill and asked them to proceed to the parking. While walking towards the car, Anuj could no longer tolerate the awkward silence, so he finally popped the question, "Are you okay?" Anu knew that with him, there was no point in lying. Anu took a deep breath and started, "Priyansh is a really nice guy, I have known him for long. But I guess I took too long to process my feelings for him. By the time I realized it was too late". 

"Does he even know? And why didn't you share this before? I mean with Priya", words almost stumbled out of Anuj's mouth. Anu wiped her nose with the corner of her thumb and smiled, "I can share that with you as well. I learnt about it last week while you guys were on vacation. Fortunately, I saved myself from embarrassment by asking him to share the surprise first on that day. I would have been at a great loss if I had gone first. At least I have him as a friend".

"Why do you need him, when you have us?", Anuj tried to lighten the conversation.

Anu also slipped into comfort and teased him, "Because you always keep complaining about the third-wheel".

"As long as you agree to be the third-wheel instead of me, I am ok with it", and they both laughed.

Priya was listening to the conversation from a slight distance. She always wanted Anu and Anuj to gel up, but not at the cost of Anu's misery. She thanked God for the good things, then rushed to hug them. 

My bro Aru!

 

I was quite busy with some office paperwork, so engrossed that I did not even notice when Ma had returned from her evening walk. She came and sat on the sofa beside me and let out a huge sigh. "Tired" ? I asked without looking up. After a pregnant pause when I did look, I found her staring at the nearest wall which had our old black and white family pictures standing out on the bright wall. "Is everything ok Ma? Shall I make you some tea?" . I saw her eyes welled up when she finally looked at me. 

She looked away and started talking, "Today was bring your kids to club day. Mrs. Shah brought her dog and said she is my son", she ended the sentence with a chuckle. I placed a consoling hand on her hand and tried to cheer her up with my brightest smile. "Ma, you might still be young, but I am too old to accompany you to the club and to have grandchildren, you need to find a daughter-in law first, which is again too early to think about too", I chuckled. 

Maa shook her head indicating I got her wrong, "You are not getting my point Aarav, I don't want to rush you into marriage. It is your life, you know what to do better and when. I lived mine on my rules and encourage you to do so as well. All I want is……….is to be a parent again". I reeled back in shock at the end of her sentence.

"Age is just a number, have you decided to take this quote seriously? I do not intend to be rude, but sorry Ma, I do not understand your wish". Mom chuckled, "Oh Aarav! Your mom is crazy not insane. I want a dog, whom I can claim as my son at the club. No offense to you though", she said with a wink and we both laughed.

Till date, I may not be the son to be flaunted at the club, but my bro Aru, he has a great fan following there. 

Surprise!!

As Priya had declared, they were heading to meet Anu and Priyansh the very next day of their return. They decided to meet at their usual hang-out place, but to their dismay, their favourite spot was reserved for some surprise party. Anu and Priyansh were already there to break the sad news to them. Anuj is usually the one who doesn't like changes, but the new spot didn't bother him today. He was happy to onboard Priyansh to his end of the team.

They entered the café, Priya literally hopped the entire path sending excited vibes to Anu. Anuj rolled his eyes and reminded himself that ignorance is bliss. He shook hands with Priyansh and waved at Anu with a smile. He placed the car keys on the table and excused himself for a restroom visit. Priyansh followed his lead.

Anuj and Priyansh were washing hands at the basin, when Priyansh asked Anuj while looking at him in the mirror, "So, how does it feel "?  Anuj frowned slightly at this awkward restroom question. Yet he tried to play cool and said with a slight smile, " Fine! You tell, how long have you known Anu"? Priyansh was confused with this sudden change of topic but continued the chat. "It has been more than 7 years, we went to the same college". "Wow! It took you so long to get her to agree", Anuj gasped. "Agree for what?" Priyansh started but was interrupted by a phone call. "Excuse me, I need to take this", he signalled towards the phone and stepped out.

Anuj returned to the table, only to find it vacant. He sighed and called Priya. Priya answered in a singing tone, "We are at your favourite spot ". "But that was reserved". "Yes for us!". Anuj saw Priya waving at him and then he noticed a cake, and Anu holding a bouquet. He immediately panicked and asked Priya to step out for a private conversation. Priya gave in to the urgency in his voice.

"Is Anu planning to propose Priyansh? I don't think they are on the same page", Anuj said in a hushed tone.

Priya stepped back in shock and said a long "Noooooo".

"Then why is there a cake and a bouquet"? Anuj continued in a hushed tone.

Priya smiled at the confusion and said, "That is for you stupid! You are getting promoted", pausing almost after every word.

"Wait what? How do you get to know about my promotion before me"?

Priya widened her eye and then it dawned upon Anuj what she meant. He hugged Priya in excitement. "Shall we"? Priya took Anuj's arm and dragged speechless Anuj inside, only to find Anu on her knees in front of Priyansh. Anuj and Priya looked at each other in horror.   

PS: Fourth part is out here: The Question

Fourth wheel

Priya was sitting by the glass window, gazing at the distant mountains. The coffee in her hand had lost its warmth to the nearby frosted glass as if was in a hurry to meet the room temperature. Just then Anuj entered, he was delighted to see Priya lost in the view. "Liking the view? " he asked excitingly. He had done a lot of advanced planning and booking and was looking for some admiration in Priya's eyes. 

Priya gave a huge sigh, got up and stretched herself, turning her back towards Anuj. "I wish Anu was here", she said with a grin. Anuj couldn't gauge that she was trying to mess with him. He started defending himself by saying, "I had asked her, but…..but she said she had to cover for you at work". "Plus she needed a break from us", Anuj tried to sound convincing. "Or are you trying to say we needed a break from her?", Priya said in a fake serious tone. He couldn't meet her eyes, he stared at the carpet as if the cue cards of what to say next laid on the floor, meanwhile she chuckled.

"I am sorry, I wanted to spend some time alone with you. I am guilty of not asking Anu". 

"You are too cute Anuj, I was just pulling your leg". She came closer and wrapped her arms around him. Anuj gave an underconfident laugh, still not able to believe what just happened. Things got crazier when there wasn't even a single call to and from Anu during the vacation. Anuj couldn't simply digest this Anu-free time. On the last night of the trip his mind was racing, "I had a good time, but something is fishy. Did these two have a fight? Are they not talking to each other? Good for me. But no, Priya wouldn't have been so happy if it was a fight". He ultimately slept when he couldn't conclude his trail of thoughts. 

Next morning they were supposed to head back, Priya was shining bright like the morning sun, while Anuj was dull as night. Priya checked on him, "Aren't you happy? I guess we had a good time right?".

Anuj gave a distracted nod and went ahead to place their luggage back in the car. They drove silently for a while when Anuj finally broke the silence. 

"Is everything ok between you and Anu?"

"Yeah, why do you ask ?" she was surprised at the question. 

"You guys did not talk, I mean I did not see so you guys talking during the trip". 

"Even you can't get Anu out of your mind right?", she said jokingly.

"Do you remember how we met? " she asked after a pregnant pause.

"Yeah, I saw you eating alone at the cafeteria, blankly staring at the wall. I joined you to give you a company. Then we went for a walk as well and had ice-cream. This went on for a week. I believe Anu was on leave. But what's the point?", Anuj was not able to connect the dots.

"Well, just like I found you while Anu was away…….Anu found someone while I was away and I am too excited to meet them as soon as we get back",  Priya concluded with a squeak.

Anuj was excited with the news, he had to tone down before sharing his concern, "Don't you feel jealous?"

Priya swayed out the idea with her hand, "I was guilty of ditching her first, now we are even". Her voice dropped low with the last sentence.

 "By the way, who is the lucky guy?", Anuj tried to pull up the conversation.

"His name is Priyansh", Anuj's car screeched to a halt.

PS: Third part is out here: Surprise

Third Wheel

It was Friday night, as per ritual, Anuj was ready with the popcorn and lemonade for the Netflix chill. He called out to Priya in a singing tone, "We are all set". He shifted to one end of the couch and signalled Priya to take her seat. Priya made a puppy face and said, "Can I skip Netflix today? I would prefer reading ". Even though Anuj knew what she is exactly going to do in the room, he agreed. He deliberately kept the volume low, waiting for that moment to come and after a few minutes, it happened. He heard roaring laughter from her room. He dashed straight into her room, stood like a teapot with a grumpy face and said, "Is that Anu?". Priya immediately kept her phone aside.

--------x--------

Anu and Priya have been friends for years more than the fingers on a regular hand. Somehow by turns of events, they always landed up together. Same college, same job and now same project. People are so used to seeing them together that they are often addressed by a common name 'Anupriya'. People even joked about them getting married to each other because there was no scope for any guy to make space for himself in their lives. However, one poor guy Anuj fell in love with Priya. It is still a mystery, how Anuj managed to get married to Priya. Whenever someone asked Priya whom did she love more, she would say 'Anu' with a dragged syllable and add 'J' in the end based on the other person's reaction.

--------x--------

"Why can't you have this conversation with me?", Anuj started on a high note, then toning it down as if remembered something in the mid of his sentence. Priya was slightly clueless which conversation he was referring to. She stayed silent so that he could continue. "I understand that you have had a rough day, you could have discussed that with me as well". Priya was amused by this jealous revelation. "How do you know I had a rough day?", she asked. Anuj hesitantly confessed, "Anu messaged me to not mess with you today". Priya laughed, she felt blessed to have both of them in her life. Anuj continued, " I mean such warning messages are helpful, but she needs to get a life. She makes me feel like a third-wheel in our relationship. As if I am in a constant competition with her to get your love and attention. Whom do you love more?". Out of habit, Priya said, "Of course, Anuuuuuu" and added 'j' at Anuj's wide-eyed stare. She clicked her tongue understanding that now she would have to pacify him. She decided to distract him, "You have so many friends, why don't you introduce her to someone". Anuj took the suggestion seriously and started mentally analyzing his friends to spot a suitable match for Anu. "Ashish, no. Pankaj, no". After mumbling names of 5-10 of his friends appended by a 'no' he concluded, "It is difficult to find someone for her". His thought process was broken by the beep of the newly arrived message on his phone. It was from Anu:

"Get a life Anuj, stop discussing about me. PS: She forgot to disconnect the phone" 

PS: Second part is out here: Fourth Wheel

Rare breed

Akhil was scrolling through his phone while waiting for breakfast. There weren't any important emails, he kept his phone aside. After Aarav's birth, breakfast and dinners were the only time which Akhil and Shruti could find to talk. Akhil started, "Shruti, I might come home a bit late today, we have an office party, will you be able to come home by yourself". " Yeah sure", Shruti said while placing the bread in the toaster. She was a bit distracted, so Akhil cheerfully asked, "Aarav is having a sound sleep, what else is occupying your mind"? 

Ever since her maternity leave was over Shruti left half of her mind back home while she went to work. In no time her priorities had changed and she was trying to juggle between roles. Being a perfectionist, she was trying hard to meet her own standards.

"I was talking to Mom yesterday, she wanted me to convince Ria to get married".

"So, what is the concern"? Akhil asked interestingly.

"When I talked to Ria, she said she is unable to find her type, and when I asked her type she said that she wanted a feminist husband. I mean does she even understand that she is talking about a rare breed, where would she find one?"

Just when Akhil was about to say something Aarav's cry interrupted their conversation. Akhil wanted to talk about it but he knew it wasn't the right time, his gaze followed Shruti till Aarav's room until he was startled by the toasters bell. He went into the kitchen to prepare a toast for both of them.

Later that afternoon Akhil got a message from Shruti:

Shanta tai called. Aarav is not keeping well.

I am leaving from office early.

Might have to take him to the doctor. 

Don't worry I'll handle it.

Call me if you need me, and keep me posted.

      Will do, you enjoy your party :)

Thankfully Aarav's restlessness was because of the recent vaccination, nothing to worry about. However, Shruti had a hard time putting him back to sleep. By the time he slept, it was too late and she was extremely tired. She texted Akhil:

Situation under control, nothing to worry about, phew.

Btw, would you like to have some midnight snack? 

                I am too tired to cook, I'll order something.

                Let me know if you need anything.

Nah, I am good. Let me know what you want to have

I'll order. I have some App credits. 

Your regular or something else?

    Regular <3

Shruti moved out of the room tying her hair into a bun smiling to herself. Just then she heard a sound coming from the kitchen. She tiptoed to the dining table, there was tempting, good smelling, steaming hot food on the table. She grabbed a fork, even though the food on the table made the situation look less suspicious, she still wanted to be ready for some self-defence. 

When she entered the kitchen, she found Akhil carefully slicing the salad, totally unaware of her presence.

She went closer to him and gave an urgent whisper, "What on earth are you doing here? ". Akhil turned around as if caught red-handed doing something wrong. "You were supposed to be at the party". He took a deep breath and said, "I thought, while you take care of our baby, I could take care of mine". Shruti stared at him for a while, her eyes bit welled up. Poor Akhil, he wasn't prepared for this reaction. He was having a hard time too keeping up with Shruti's mood swings. He hesitantly asked, " Are you crying because you still have to do the dishes? ". 

Shruti looked up at the sink, he had clearly made a mess, but how could she get angry at such a gesture. She smiled, wiping her teary eye, nodded her head in a yes. "Don't worry we'll figure it out", he jumped in excitement after gauging her mood. He took her by the shoulder and made her sit at the table, placed a bowl in front of her stating, "Your regular, ma'am", and sat down beside her with his own. With his mouth half-filled with food he asked, "So do you think feminist husbands are a rare breed?", and they both chuckled.

You don't have depression!

I remember, once while in the park after a long silent walk, I told my friend that I think so that I am suffering from depression. Her immediate reaction was, "Are you mad? You don't have depression, you are just overthinking". I was simply not prepared for this reaction and had become defensive about my statement. She asked me why do I think so, then I told her that of late I just feel like crying anytime for no reason. All I want to do is sleep whole day and do nothing, I just drag my day doing everything without any motivation. A state I don't want to be in, but am unable to fix it. "Is it because of PMS?", was her next question. "How long do you think PMS can affect you? It has been more than two weeks that I had my last period", I retorted. I was getting annoyed and was regretting that I started this topic and now have to justify why I feel depressed. Her probing did not end there. She asked me whether I was having any trouble with my family, or at job or with any friend, and my answer to all of these questions was no. "Then what is there to be depressed about when nothing is troubling you? You just keep reading a lot about certain topics and then overthink. You might be temporarily sad and you are mistaking it with depression", she concluded.

Whether that phase of my life was depression or not, I still don't know. How did I cope with it, I don't remember. But I never mentioned it to anyone post that incident about how I felt. I don't know whether that phase will ever come back to me or not, but currently, I am not in that phase. But today I felt that this incident of my life could be an important message. Reading about Sushant Singh Rajput's suicide has left me in jitters. I went back to his Insta page to check his recent posts, to understand that whether there was a sign which no one noticed or everything was regular. The very latest one was where he was missing his mom. Then in one post in May, I found Sushant trying out a few things which I tried once to 'fix' my life sometime back.

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Of all the various approaches I’ve tried in the last few months, these meta skills have worked wonders with the best ROI of time :) 👇🏻 1. 7 hours of optimised sleep 💤 2. Regular meditation 🧘‍♂️ 3. Writing a journal. 🖊 4. Frequent Exercise 🏋️‍♂️ 5. Optimising digital time 🤳🏻 and 6. Intermittent fasting 😇 Try them, if you will, and share your secrets for upgrading quality of life! #eyeofastorm ⚡️

A post shared by Sushant Singh Rajput (@sushantsinghrajput) on May 4, 2020 at 10:55pm PDT

My point is, everyone says we should remove the stigma around mental health and should seek help, but there are cases where people do not even realize that they need help. Sometimes it gets too late by the time they or anyone else around them realize that they need help.