When you cannot say what you want to say

There have been time when I wish to convey a lot but fail to utter a word. Then  I keep on thinking about the matter rather I should say, over think about the pros and cons. But, when my urge to express myself overpowers me. I write it down, and if at all I am able to gather courage and enough reasons to not to hold on , I pass on my message to the concerned person as well. If any of my friend might be reading this, may remember all the written messages they have got from me. Few of them have still preserved my messages.
       Some of them have readily accepted my odd habit but, many still ask me why I always choose written communication over face to face communication. To which I'll place an answer here (again written ). Most of the times I refrain myself from saying things because I fear hurting people so I try to control the situation until I can. On the more while expressing myself verbally, that "drill down gaze" on me, makes me feel insecure, as if my words are not going to be believed and my eyes are being searched for the truth. I have tried face to face communication, but it seems it's not my cup of tea because most of the time I fail to make my point clear or I have to cut off in the middle to avoid exposure of my emotions.
       On the more I must say that I love the perks associated with written communication.
1. You are able to make your point clear without any interruption from other person. Your message is completely conveyed.
2.Your words are more accountable when you write them down as written words last more than spoken words.
3.While writing your are forced to listen to yourself. You are exposed to your own thoughts and emotions.You get to know what actually you want. This way you discover yourself. Most of the times I have discovered solutions to my problems just by writing it down, because while writing itself I find out what is worrying me.

4.Written communication makes you more expressive.

But with all this , one point which stands important is that "think before you write".
Main idea is to just express yourself, keeping things piled up in mind just slowly builds up a devil which torments you when you are lonely. Don't do that to yourself. Be kind to your oneself.

PS- Through this I would also like to apologize to all those whom I have ever hurt through my written communication.

Eyes- window to the soul

Eyes the most beautiful gift given to us by nature. Now, those who think a lot, a flash of thoughts may strike them, why eyes are the most beautiful  gift? Even I was also searching  for a justifiable answer . But then, I was reminded of 'Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder'.

But, here we are to talk about the " window to the soul ". When one has to read someone through and through, just willfully peak into their eyes and you'll know the person in one go. Here, I would like to stress on the word willfully, because until and unless you are not interested to read the other person, you'll just have a pair of eyes staring back at you.

Your eyes speak the unspoken words which never even came out of your mouth. Eyes speak a lot. Even the emoticons differ the expression through eyes ;).Ok, I'll bring forward an example which  might have come in front of most of you. One of those sad days when you don't want to talk to anyone and haven't told anyone what is wrong and your mom just by looking at you shoots up a question , "What's wrong with you?". To which if you answer "Nothing", the next thing what she does is, looks straight into your eyes to assure herself that whatever you are saying is right or not. You can not escape your mom's gaze. And if you try to steal your eyes she catches you then and there. Mom's willfully read their child's eyes because they want to solve their each and every problem. They know how to look through "that" window.

So, the point is that eyes can be very well read and rarely(considering the exceptions) can anybody come up and say that nobody can read or guess what is on my mind.

This reading of eye is a silent language which if learnt can build up a strong relation. I read somewhere that a true relation begins when the silence between the two is complete. And here is when this eye language comes into action. A simple look and you can feel the warmth and comfort. Well, I may not be any one new who brought down this point . There are numerous songs and poems which describe this beautifully.

I brought up this topic because I wanted to share few of my eye language experiences. I just caught one of my guy friend  gazing at one of my girl friend somewhat like this:

And he stole his gaze when I caught him red handed. I just thought, how much he has to express to her but never speaks because he is afraid to loose her. Therefore, I would suggest that just look once into the eyes of your loved ones and know how deeply you are loved, because eyes would definitely reveal the truth.

But do keep your gaze soft so that the other person does not feel awkward or feel like being interrogated.

With this I just hope that my silent message gets conveyed ;). 

I Hate you like I love You

Love and care is all that one needs to have a perfect life. Isn't it?

Do you have someone who used to care for you like nobody else in the world or maybe like your parents ? Who used to make you feel at home but suddenly things changed between you two. That person started backing off .  Though they still care for you, but most of your talks have started turning into taunts. Your conversations have started ending either abruptly or with an argument. Then long hours of silence, then again that person is back to you as if nothing has happened. And you completely have no idea why the other person is behaving like that, what is wrong. It irritates you when you ask what is wrong and get silence as the answer.

So here I am with answers to those questions, however I cannot assure how many of you will be able to relate to it. I would like to quote an example to aid my explanation: for those of you who have seen 'Jane Tu Ya Jane Na', might remember Amit, Aditi's brother, he hated Jai and never talked straight to either to Jai or Aditi. Once Aditi asked him why have you changed, why have you gone so far? To which he replied that it was not him who went far, it was just other people who surrounded Aditi. 

People do not actually understand, all those odd behavior, rash talks are just to gain that attention back which has been diverted to other people. They still love you the way they used to, but hate you for not understanding their feelings. All you need is to give that time which they deserve, but before starting up again do sit and talk and have a great long argument, and in that argument you would get to know how long your presence was longed for, what all were the places where you were missed. And then maybe you may realize that you were about to loose a pearl while collecting stones. So, go and mend up before time runs out.

The Other side

At certain situations in life, most of us think what the other person might think if we do so. But according to me the concern should be on 'why' rather than 'what'. I might be sounding bit confusing. Here, I am trying to make you walk in other person's shoes. Many a times I find  myself in a situation , about which I think later and discover that I overreacted, the other person was also correct on his or her part. Understanding other person's point of view is a bit difficult task. For that, one just has to assume for few moments that the other person is right. This doesn't mean that you are wrong. But, when you assume the other person is right, you analyze the situation in a whole new different perspective., which is the 'other side' I am taking about. Once you analyze the situation and place yourself at the other person's place, or I should say, walk in other person's shoes, and think what you would have done had you been there, you master your thoughts. And many a times you discover 'why' that other person did that to you, and ultimately you have a different idea of the whole situation after doing so.

Doing this actually requires a bit of efforts, but if implemented successfully it brings peace of mind. This activity helps you to get away from that inner battles which you have in your brain that 'why people do this to me?'. This would go incomplete without an example. Once my friend told me that her manager always keeps on shouting at people, he makes them work madly and never appreciates. She was really frustrated at him. Her frustration is right on her part, isn't it?  However, think from manager's point of view, an employee has to deal with 1 manager but a manager has to deal with many employees. He has to derive work from each one of them and make them work efficiently. Though this does not give any manager  rights to be rude to his employees , but had he been lenient would everyone listen to him?

Making people work for you is not that easy job, and work pressure can frustrate anyone even your manager.

 So, next when you hear a scolding, just try to understand the other side, and then you'll have a chilled out attitude towards that scolding, and you would be able to concentrate back to your work with much better spirits. Try this, because ultimately you have to complete that work and cribbing only reduces your efficiency.

      Another aspect I would like to give to the 'other side' is to see positive in every situation. I don't say that I see positive in every situation I get into. Even I do crib, but I recover soon, because I put my mind in the direction to find what is good in this situation, and many a times putting things together I solve the jigsaw puzzle. If you see something good in yourself, then do remember that it was 'some situations' put together , which made you what you are today. And they will keep making you worth :D.

Jadu ki Jhappi (A Magical Hug)

For those of you who have seen Munna_Bhai_M.B.B.S. might be knowing what does Jadu ki Jhappi mean. But have you ever tried using it? The miracle it does, the happiness it gives to the heart. Just try it once, give someone you love, an unexpected tight hug and when you are held back even tighter, you'll feel the magic.
   When you meet a friend after a long time and hug each other, the grip itself tells, how badly you were missed. When you meet your mother after a long time and embrace her, do notice her eyes, they would be numb and satisfied, to see you back. That is the magic of a hug aka Jadu ki jhappi.
   Again I would come back to my example, I am a shy kind of a person who doesn't showcase love openly. I even feel shy expressing it to my mother too. Though I go home almost once every month, still my mother embraces me so tight, as if I have returned after years. She is literally in tears, when I enter and when I leave. I can feel that tender love and that transfer of emotions through that Jappi.
  Well, this is obviously expected of moms, another example I  would quote is when on one occasion I hugged my room-mate unexpectedly, she smiled with a shock then gripped me hard. Seriously I loved that expression on her face. Maybe, she would be having the same kind of smile while reading it, as I have while typing it ;)...This is what a happy moment brings with it,  the joy of remembrance.
  I am working on it, like how to be more expressive and would suggest my folks to do the same. Express yourself, let your loved ones know, how much you love them. After all, a hug costs nothing and is filled with magic. For those who are far please make a call ;). So, explore your magic my magicians and stay tuned :D

Find yourself

In my last post, I talked about what I do to bring my smile back, but all cannot resolve their problem with my solution. This one is yet again a continuation to the previous post but I deliberately did not name it as ' Rekindle your childhood smile part 3', as this would have become monotonous and make you lose interest;). And the basic funda to bring your smile back is to ' break the monotony'. So, I thought I better begin this with the title ;)
   The only way to break the monotony in your life is to bring in something which you love to do. Be it anything singing,dancing,painting, playing guitar,yoga or blogging :D. Trust me when you make space for your hobby, you have something to look forward to, and your hobby never gets monotonous as it will always have a new thrill and excitement for you. I 'll give my example, ever since I started blogging I just wait to get back home and write my new post. I utilize my travel time to think about what I have to write next.
   Now, people may say that we don't have time for doing all this, then I would say that the time which we spend cribbing about 'what a monotonous life we are living', can be utilized to live our spirits (This isn't intended to offend anyone). The happiness that we find in making ourselves happy has no bounds. And sooner you'll also fall in love with your smile.
  So, let yourself loose, be easy to yourself and eventually find yourself. Spend some quality time making yourself happy. and then simply you would love your life.
Keep Smiling and follow this simple algorithm:

Rekindle your childhood smile (part 2)

In this post, I'll let you know what all things I do to help myself with a smile. But before that, I 'll share one incident. Once I was alone in my room (which I share with 2 other). I had had a 'very bad' (because I thought so) day and was just waiting for the room to be vacant. And when I grabbed that opportunity I started crying hard. After 5 mins of shedding of tears, I thought I have had enough of it and went to the washroom to wash my face, but before washing my face, I looked myself into the mirror. How horrible I was looking !!! (Though I mostly do).
      I usually do not share about my bad mood to anyone, unless I get caught. So, I am the only one responsible to mend my mood. For that, I watch animated movies or Khichdi episodes or Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai episodes, and even in my worst of moods, I bear a smile while watching those, just because I want to laugh. These light headed shows do not require that 'extra brain' to understand the comedy, and they rejuvenate me.
     Next, I switch to bathroom singing, I sing out loud as if no one is listening, though I am heard most of the times. This activity is just an alternative to the scream therapy which states that you feel stress-free if you scream out loudly. So, this singing alternative doesn't make people feel that you are mad, and you do improve your singing skills ;). I myself have improved because I sing to impress my self. This usually works ;).
    Next, I switch to some creative work, I use my destructive energy to do some constructive work. Now, people reading this might think all cannot be creative, even I had the same thought before I discovered this art. Once out of anger I crushed an aluminium foil, I did not pay any heed to it, until it started taking some shape. The first thing I shaped out was a heart(because that's the easiest) and then gifted it to a friend. The smile which my friend gave to me, on holding such an ordinary thing in her hand, was priceless. Trust me, that joy, to see someone smiling because of you, is out of the world.
Well, the point here is that, I was not born creative, my anger made me creative, and since then I have made many miniatures out of aluminium foil and gifted to people just to receive my priceless gift.
   These are a few of the things which I use to mend my spoiled mood. And I make it sure that whenever I smile, I do look myself into the mirror, because doing this doubles the stretch of that curve on my face, and I love that smile of mine. And that smile is where I find my rekindled childhood. So, Keep Smiling always :D

One of my rekindled smile.

Rekindle your childhood smile

Have you ever seen a kid smiling?? How pure and innocent that smile is !!! I suppose a child's smile is the most contagious thing in this world. As soon as we see one, we hold 'one of those kinds' on our lips. Like this one :

Cute isn't it? Here, the point to be noted is that I mentioned 'one of those kinds ' and not 'exactly similar'. Because there lies a huge difference between those two smiles. Children at tender age find almost everything interesting, all things are new to them and so they laugh out loud at whatever interests them. They do not have the burden of tomorrow on their smile and their smile is not fake. But when they start growing up, they start losing interest in their surroundings, things appear monotonous to them. Even though they know very little of this world, they assume a lot ahead which is going to happen to them later. This is what drains out the innocence of that childhood smile and burdens them with responsibilities.
  So, when did you last laugh like a child? Watch this video: Baby laughing at the sound of ripping paper. And if this video makes you laugh then you still have that spark in you. So, grab it in the next post, how I brought my childhood smile back. Stay tuned :)